Narrow Minds

Honestly, I’m just tired of people at this point. I can argue all day long about things like gay marriage. I really can, but please don’t ask me to write an essay about it. Oops, too late. Stupid history. I am so sick of people making a big deal out of this. Nothing is wrong with gay marriage. Really, even if you’re straight (which I am) there is no reason to be against it. I asked my dad what he thought about it, and his response was, after looking at his wife, “I wouldn’t do it.” Yeah, yeah, real funny dad.

Maybe we can blame my standpoint on the fact that I’m a theater dork and a total sucker for the arts which means I am constantly around gays. So if you think there’s an issue with gay people in general, I would as you to kindly BACK THE FUCK OFF because it really has nothing to do with you.  And honestly I don’t want to bring the constitution into this, because I know it doesn’t deserve to be in the middle of this argument, but it says that every citizen gets equal rights. That means if a straight man has the right to marry a straight woman, then a gay man should be able to marry a gay man.

If you have some religious issue with it, then that’s your right. I get it. So take it up with the church, not the freaking government, because any law banning gay marriage will most likely be considered unconstitutional by the judicial branch. This, of course, coming from an American in case someone from the U.K is reading or something. Because, you know, our government isn’t the same for all countries.

Anyway, it really ticks me off and you may have noticed by the appearance of the ‘f-word,’ or the capital letters, or the fact that this blog is being uploaded on Sunday instead of my usual Monday blog. Really gay rights are no different than women’s rights or African-American’s rights. this movement will end like all the others, so when will the country learn? Evidently, never. I swear I can’t take it. If one more narrow minded prick says another snide comment about my gay best friend they will seriously get my fist shoved down their throat. This is coming from the Goody-Goody who you read that blog from lord know how long ago.

In case you were wondering, yes, there was a jerk I almost punched in the throat. But my friend was with me and he would have stopped me, so I didn’t. This jerk had said something to my friend along the lines of “Hey, do you like penis?” to which I responded with “Hey, do you like my fist in your throat?” in a very angry tone. This guy I think considered me a friend before that point, and he was sadly mistaken. Lucky for him, though, my friend hadn’t heard him, because after I had threatened him, my gay friend turned to me and said “What did he say?” If he had heard and been offended by what that jerk had said, I would have jumped him.

Long story short, don’t be like that jerk. Don’t be a butt-head that I write about on here. Not that any of the butt-heads I write about know how to read well enough to understand my blog or are smart enough to work the internet, but still. I’ll be back Monday unless I get some unexpected inspiration that I can’t wait to share with you. Until that time, screw the butt-heads and smile as often as possible. See you soon with hopefully a happier message.

The Meaning of Life

Water. Four. Love. What is the meaning of life? I’d say it’s perspective. Or maybe it’s not mixing up the ‘d’ key and the ‘s’ key while blogging. No, I won’t get off topic again, I have something to say, I promise.

Perspective. That’s what it’s all about. You can go through life hating every second of it, or you can look at the bright side. What brought on this blog topic? Spongebob. That’s right, this is what happens to a girl when she babysits her neighbor’s six year old daughter all weekend. The blog ends up being inspired by Spongebob. If you have no idea what I mean, then you haven’t payed close enough attention to the show. When you think about it, he is almost always happy. His neighbor hates him, he has a crumby job with a colleague who hates him along with little to no pay, his snail is smarter than he is, he has probably tried to get his license more than a million times to no avail, and the only person who is more stupid than he is is his best friend. Spongebob is almost the very definition of an optimist. If you were put in Spongebob’s shoes, you would hate your life so much and you would probably complain on a daily basis. I know I would. But maybe we shouldn’t be that way. You can’t go through life with a Squidward state of mind. So my motto for the week is WWSD (What Would Spongebob Do)? Your life will turn out the way you want to if you look at it from the right angle. And I know sometimes we go through hardships and we find it hard to see the silver lining to things, but eventually you’ll find it.  Next time you think life couldn’t get any worse, think of Spongebob. How would he respond?

Goody-Goody

Today, I was asked a question that most people wouldn’t have difficulty answering. The question was ‘what is something you have done to disobey your parents wishes?’ Easy, right? WRONG. I’m a goody-goody, always have been, always will be. How am I supposed to write about me disobeying my parents when I never really did. Well, I’m sure I must have at some point. Everybody does, but I have no memory of disobeying them. I ended up having to make up a story about jumping on the bed. Well, it wasn’t totally made up, but I wasn’t in the original version. It was my brothers that were jumping on their beds when the genius younger one jumped too high and chipped his tooth on the fan. I took my older brother out of the story and pretended that was me. 

The truth is, though, I am such a coward. I don’t want to hear it from my parents if I do something wrong. I always do what they tell me unless I forget, which isn’t really being disobedient, it’s just being forgetful. The only thing my parents have ever told me that I’ve done wrong was peel the wallpaper off the walls when I was younger, and it’s not like my parents ever sat me down and said ‘don’t peel the wallpaper off the walls’ so that isn’t disobedient. That’s being a baby. I kind of wish that I had disobeyed them at some point though, some story that I could tell and be like ‘kids do the darndest things.’ But no, I was, and forever will remain, the most boring person in the history of the universe- unless I’m hyper, I get pretty interesting when I’m hyper. 

Work

Is there anything else to say? Not really. All there is is work, work, work. What do you do when you’ve got a lot of work to do? You find new hobbies. You write more on the internet, you suddenly realize how entertaining twitter can be, you get into a tv show that you would have found unbearably boring under any other circumstance. But we do it anyway, don’t we? Because let’s admit it, being mildly entertained by a stupid show is so much easier than having to do all of that work. Even writing things, I find myself writing stories and blogging when I’m avoiding work. No, it’s not healthy. Hakuna Matata. You’ve got one life. From now on, when I procrastinate, I’m going to do something with that life. I’ll take a hike or go for a jog. Something physically enhancing or just something to make my time on this planet worthwhile. But it’s late right now, so I’ll start that tomorrow. . . maybe.

Blog Day!

So my friends, it’s another blog day and nothing blog-worthy has happened recently, so let’s delve into the blog idea box, shall we? Do you have a cat? I do, in fact I have two. I have been putting off writing this blog for a while now, mostly due to the fact that the one cat’s name isn’t particularly easy to spell and I was too lazy to memorize the spelling, but hey that’s what Google’s for, right? His name is Pinocchio, and is sister’s name is Blue. Yes, Blue is short of Blue Fairy from the movie Pinocchio. Yes, I did name these cats. No, don’t judge me. Keep in mind those names are from the girl whose father named her puppy after whiskey. At least it’s better than Mittens, right?

If you’ve ever woken up in the middle of the night and followed a suspicious noise while carrying a baseball bat only to find your cat playing with something they pulled out of your trashcan, then you probably know how weird cats can be. Albeit, most people skip over the word ‘weird’ and go straight to ‘cute.’ If you have ever watched a cat for more than two minutes, then maybe you’ve asked yourself the same thing I’ve been asking myself. What in the world goes through their minds sometimes? If you are allergic to cats or just don’t have one and have no idea what I’m talking about, then you’re in luck, because this is the part where I tell you all of the peculiar things I find my cats doing from time to time in excruciating detail.

Here goes, let’s call it ‘Thing I noticed’ #1. Simplicity. I recycle cardboard, so when I finish a box of cereal in the morning and I’m still not awake enough (or I’m too lazy) to put it out in the garage with the rest of the stash of stuff that will be taken to the dump at the end of the week, I just put it next to the trash can. The way my cats look at it you’d think it’s a thousand karat diamond, honestly. They’ll knock it over and just paw at it until they tire themselves out and take a nap. Literally they just stand on it and stroke it as if they think if they do it enough times they’ll reveal some secret cellar underneath of it that holds the meaning of life. If you have a cat or are planning on getting one, here’s a piece of advice, DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY ON TOYS! You can find perfectly entertaining items around your house, or just some garbage they’d be content with playing with. Can you imagine being that easily entertained? I guess to a creature who is incapable of working the internet, everything becomes that much more interesting.

Thing I noticed #2. Water/Water Bowl. It’s no mystery that cats really don’t like water. However, I’ve found that my cats are perfectly fine with it- as long as it’s on their own terms. You give them a bath and they’ll make a noise that you didn’t even think cats were capable of making, but if they choose to stick their legs in their water bowl, then all is fine with the world. Now they have this water bowl that is electric and kid of works like a fountain. They’ve had it for a while, so they have had time to get used to it, but every now and again I’ll walk into the kitchen to find one of them staring at the water as if it holds all of the secrets to the universe. If only I could tell you how many times I have walked into the bathroom to find Blue on top of the toilet dipping her paw in the water until she hears me coming, then scrambling out of there with everything she’s got. You’d be shocked.

Thing I noticed #3. Height. I’m one of those people who hates heights, even if I can’t see them. I refuse to go on elevators, it’s that bad. So you can see how I am simply puzzled by my cats fascination with being high up. In my house, you can see the top half of my stairs from the living room. It’s kind of hard to explain, but instead of a railing, there’s a half-wall. It goes a little higher than the railing but you can’t see through it, it is a wall. It’s also wider than a railing, so it’s convenient for setting things on, and coincidentally for my cats to sit/lay on. It scared the crap out of me the first few times I saw them do it, too. If they fell off, then they’d probably break their legs, so at first when they did it I tsked at them and they’d hop off. They didn’t get the message though, seeing as how they’d just jump back up fifteen minutes later. Now I just let them do it. I am pretty sure Pinocchio sleeps up there every night.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be a house cat? It seems like the easiest life ever. Comment and tell me about your cat(s) or lack of cats. In the picture, the brown and black one is Pinocchio and the white and black one is Blue. I’ve had them since they were born (literally they were born IN MY BED) and they turned a year old in July. That’s it for this week! I’ll be back next Monday attempting once again to make your Monday suck less.