Conceited Jerks

So I was in a talent show, not that I have enough talent to compete in one, I was just backing up my friend on guitar. That’s not the point, though. The point is that this was school talent show, with student competitors, who were kids.

One band got up there, according to the audience they were local heroes (note- sarcasm). Gods of rock and the epitome of perfection. No, they’re not. They’re not even a band. They’re two guitarists (who weren’t even in tune with each other, I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t even know how to tune to each other) and a drummer. That’s not a band, that’s three guys that have no idea what they’re doing.

Now, I wasn’t expecting to win, because honestly I thought there were a number of acts who deserved it more, like the actual band with a guitarist, bass guitarist, drummer, and a singer who also played the trumpet. I’m not being bitter because they got second and I didn’t, I’m being bitter because they were assholes. They asked all of their ‘fans’ to come and see their first live performance, which still isn’t my problem. You can stack the audience all you want, there were judges there who decided who won, not the audience.

What did they do that was so wrong then? Well, they got up on stage (after my friend and I the audience was chanting for them to come on) and said, I;m directly quoting here, “First, we’d like to thank the fans.” YOU’RE PERFORMING AT A TALENT SHOW, NOT ACCEPTING A GRAMMY YOU INTOLERABLE IDIOTS! Let’s continue with the list of things that pissed me off about these people. They sang All the Small Things by Blink-182, awesome song, awesome band. Now let’s explain how they screwed it up. Anyone who knows All the Small Things knows how it sounds, and you might not realize it if you’re not really into music, but it has these awesome harmonies. Even if you don’t realize they’re there when you’re listening to the album, if you hear it performed without them, you notice something’s amiss. They didn’t even bother attempting the harmonies or finding someone who was capable of singing them (cough, cough, anyone in our school’s choir program could have sang them).

I want to make it clear that I didn’t have a problem with these guys until that performance. I was literally in the hallway while they were performing, singing the harmonies so that it didn’t sound so messed up, along with the lead singer of the band that didn’t place but definitely deserved to have gotten higher than the idiots who came in second, who is a perfectly modest, down-to-earth person. Know what he did when he hit the stage with his band, in contrast with those other idiots? He introduced each member of the band and said he hoped we (the audience) enjoyed the performance. As opposed to the “I’d like to thank the fans for coming out and also (insert random freshman girl’s name here) who is wearing a red sweater (Seriously, did you have to say that? Now you look stupid). We are (insert stupid band name here) and we play music (insert ridiculously obnoxious guitars here).”

I talked to the lead singer of the band that I really liked once he got off stage, along with the majority of his band members and told them that they were awesome. The singers response? “I just really hoped the audience liked it, you know? They paid for a show, let’s give ’em a show.” Yes, that’s how you act, that’s how you talk to people. At least try to act humble, at least pretend you don’t think you absolutely hot shit.

I think they only placed higher than the other band because you couldn’t hear the trumpet when he played it since he wasn’t pointing it directly at the mic, and also the audience reaction to the first band was greater (you know, since they stacked the audience).

In all honesty, neither band was fully in tune and neither of them were totally perfect in terms of coordinating the mix of instruments, but I was definitely more entertained by the band that didn’t have an asshole for the lead singer. That’s all I’m saying.


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