It’s Monday

Happy Monday! You know. . . Monday. It’s the day before Tuesday.

Tuesday, the day that today is not. Because today is too busy being Monday it can’t possibly find the time to be Tuesday. So this is definitely Monday, tell your boss that’s why you didn’t come into work yesterday.

Oh, you went to work yesterday? Good for you, over-achiever. Ranking in those over-time hours so you can buy yourself some. . . uh. . . cookies. Yeah, get yourself some cookies with that money. You deserve one after working over-time.

You poor people, working on Sunday. I guess you lost track of your days. You probably just checked off two days on your calendar on Saturday by accident instead of just one. Or your alarm clock just went off on the wrong day. It happens sometimes, you know. If you set it wrong, it does. 

Alright. I’m late. I admit it I’m sorry. I have to tell you it’s taking quite a bit of effort to get back into running this blog, and it’s such a mess sometimes that I think no one even cares anymore when posts like this happen. Truth is, I forgot yesterday was a blog day and that’s all my fault (and also a lot of other people’s faults because I had a lot of work to do on the day I had to get fitted for a gown. Don’t teachers understand I can’t do everything at once?).

Today is still Monday because on the internet I can make up my own rules. This is MY BLOG DANG IT. So happy Tuesday/Monday, because today is definitely not Tuesday and if you need evidence to tell your boss why you weren’t there yesterday (you know, for those of you who weren’t working over-time) you can e-mail them this post for support. 

Your employee is telling the truth. Today is Monday. Your whole life is a lie. You should go home and think about that.