Just a Theory

Yes, a theory. Because I’m a nerd and I like science, therefore I use the term theory in everyday life. But in order to tell you the theory, I must first tell you how I came up with it.

I have been getting down on myself lately, for typical nerd reason. You see, if I’m not writing creatively, then I kind of feel like I’m not serving my purpose in life. . . but the reason I haven’t been writing so much lately is that now, I have a life.

Notebook

It never really registered with me that, in terms of my writing skills, that isn’t really a bad thing. Having plans and living life gives you inspiration, it gives you instances to write about, it helps you create stories to write. I read in a blog once, someone was telling a first-time blogger not to be upset if they can’t stick to a schedule because life gets in the way sometimes. I don’t think it’s really getting in the way though, I think it’s showing us, and helping us to be better at what we do.

I used to be a horrible writer, I mean seriously extremely boring and lamely sticking to the rules. If I saw a green line on Microsoft Word under dialogue I had to make it disappear, even if what that character wound up saying doesn’t sound like something you would hear from an actual person ever. Now I know better, I’m more experienced  and I have made all of these observations from reading others that I can use to improve myself. For the most part, the more time I put between now and the next time I write, the more professional that writing will be.  Not to mention that in the future when I’m writing, I will be older and wiser.

library shelves

I’m not posting this so much for others as I am myself. I know that somewhere down the road, once I am back in the swing of things and am writing more on a schedule, this will happen all over again and I’ll get frustrated with myself. This post is for me and anyone out there similar to me who has this problem, just for us to know that it’s okay to live your life even if it gets in the way of writing. That Word document or notebook will be there when you’re done, and you can take it from where you left off with all of these new ideas you’ve gained from actually being out there in the world.

globe

The last piece of information I want to share is that I came to the blogosphere with this stroke of genius (yes, I mean that sarcastically, only because I can never refer to myself in any tone but sarcasm) because I had nowhere else to go. Nobody in my life shares a love of writing the way that I do, and I suppose I could share it with my English teacher, but he’s much less of a writer and much more of a reader. Plus I don’t talk to him much about anything not regarding school so I feel like that would be an awkward conversation. That may have come across way more whiny than I wanted it to, so let me just explain that I’m saying it because I like that I have this outlet for my writing. Even my writing that’ s not all that good. It’s somewhere to go where I know there are fellow writers and people who understand and are interested when you talk about reading or writing or creativity. We have that here, and as far as I’m concerned that’s the best community I know of.

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Ranting

On a totally happy beginning note, happy beginning of the week! Nice Monday so far? No? Okay, on with the rant:

Soooooo. We can all agree that school is awesome and the main source of fun in the world, right? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Can we all at least agree that I am at least seven times more entertaining when I’m ranting about something? I’m not even going to guess your answer for that one because of my total lack of interest in what some people think. I’m not saying necessarily you but in some cases, I might be.

Anyway, back to the rant. History is an awesome class isn’t it? Who doesn’t love sitting in a hundred-year-old building learning about a bunch of old fat and/or short guys who could never agree on anything? This class is the epitomy of a good time. So this is what a teacher should do, they should make this class even better by not even teaching. Let’s have all the students make presentations on each of the topics in the chapter and have them teach each other! GREAT IDEA!

Please, let’s do that. I love it when having a teacher becomes completely pointless and when I have to learn most-likely mixed up information by my peers who have absolutely no clue what they’re doing. Why don’t we just hire them as the teachers. I mean all you have to do is regurgitate what is written in the book,right? What’s the point in even getting a degree? Just put people who can read in front of a classroom and they’ll make do.

So there I was, all week. Working on a presentation on the Gold Rush, stressing about my grade. (In case you were wondering, history is still the only grade that I have a B in, albeit a high B. Believe it or not, I am one point away from an A, with a 92). This is how it went down; our class was in the library all week, working on these presentations. I was the only girl in my group, and evidently the only one who didn’t have A.D.D. every day at ninth period. Don’t get me wrong, my group was entertaining, funny, and we did manage to get all of our work done.

In fact, we were totally finished. An awesome power-point presentation all about everything you ever wanted to know about the Gold Rush. Then, over the weekend, we had to do something else. We had to take notes on the chapter and turn them in for a grade. Not as a group, it was a requirement for every individual student in the class for a totally unrelated grade. The thing, though, is that the Gold Rush in the book was the Alaska Gold Rush. Guess what we did our presentation on? THE FREAKIN’ CALIFORNIA GOLD RUSH!!!!

We had spent our entire week researching the WRONG FRIGGIN’ TOPIC. So how did we proceed? We questioned our teacher, bearing in mind that we made the presentation on google docs and shared it with him at his request, so that he could check and make sure we weren’t going totally in the wrong direction (which we most definitely were). Seeing as he never told us ‘hey, this is not at all what this is supposed to be about, why don’t you read the chapter like a smart person for once?’ we thought maybe he was okay with us doing this Gold Rush. We knew it was a lost cause, though.

So there we sat, in the back of the room, arguing about who was going to go up and ask our teacher if it was okay to present our current power-point or if we had to totally start a new one. Now I should explain to you, our teacher is small. Like really small. Like half a toothpick small if a can of soup were a normal sized human being. And yet, we were all still so imtimidated by him that we were back there trying to make somebody else go up and ask. Finally, we decided to go up to him as a group, considering we were far too cowardly for any of us to go alone.

I’m not even going to bother going into detail about the following interaction, because it will only make me cry tears of failure. All in all, we now have to make another project on THE RIGHT TOPIC and then be the last group to present to the class, only finding out that we were totally wrong the day before presentations began.

Here’s to the three of us, doing all of our work after school and over the weekend and hopefully being able to pull it off and not totally fail this class. (When I say ‘over the weekend’ I’m writing this on a Thursday, posting it on a Monday. Our presentation is due Monday.)

P.S: I wrote this post a while ago and thought it was too good to spare, so I hope you enjoyed it. Also, I posted ‘Being a Creator’ on Tuesday after last Monday, my usual blog day, and I never gave my post before that a chance, ‘Another Monday’ which I think isn’t fair because I thought it was one of my best. Please go check it out if you have five minutes to spare. Also, leave a comment telling me about your biggest fail to make me feel less pathetic about myself.

Just Something Funny

ImageHalloween. You know, national holiday. The one where everyone gets to dress up like something they’re not (vampire, zombie, favorite tv show characters) and then go around demanding food in a 365 or 366 day pact that in exchange for sweet food, they will not trash these poor people’s homes.Image That holiday where we all get pumpkins and decorate or carve them, setting them on our porches/doorsteps for all the world to see. Sound familiar? Image

Well, thanks to hurricane Sandy, here in the great state of New Jersey, that great holiday has been POSTPONED. By far, the funniest thing I have ever heard on the school announcements was ‘Halloween has been postponed until Saturday, thank you.’ SERIOUSLY? YOU POSTPONED A HOLIDAY! Don’t get me wrong, I definitely understand the reasoning behind this. Some parts of New Jersey are totally under water (and/or under. . . sand) and there has been massive devastation. I just think it’s funny to hear, so I thought I’d share with you guys. Image

The only reason I’m complaining is because I’m going to have to hear about it until Saturday from my little brother. NOT. FUN. Anyway, that’s all for this unscheduled post.

P.S: I don’t live very close to the beach, my area didn’t get hit nearly as bad as it could have and there are definitely fallen trees and branches, but we are totally fine. But there are some places that were really bad. There was A HOUSE in the middle of a highway. A HOUSE. Have a Happy Halloween everybody!

Words

Words. They are amazing. They have so much power, so much emotion. Just, so much. They can sway opinions, they can make you cry, make you laugh, make you feel. Do you know how hard it is to make some people feel? Some people like that kid I sat in front of in eighth grade science class. They can be intimidating and scary, or they can be inspiring and uplifting. And through everything you manage to feel after reading or hearing them, they’re still just. . . words. Plain text, a jumble of letters strung together to make it a word that our brains can identify. What you’re reading is still just a cluster of pixels on your screen (on my page with a new design, I might add).

Emotion, that’s what words do. People read different ways. Some ask how these words made them feel something, some just don’t care how these words made them feel something, as long as they did. That’s the most remarkable thing about words as far as I’m concerned. They have this power over emotions. Words can make your day or darken your mood, lift you up or kick you down. They can change your perspective, they can force you to look at the bigger picture, they can bring new points of view to your attention. Emotions are the only things that make life worth living. They give you a reason to wake up in the morning. They keep you alive, and they keep you going.

Not all emotions are necessarily good, that’s for sure. There are ups and downs, but that’s life. Think of a heart monitor. If there are no ups and downs, then you’re dead; and I think we can all agree that’s the lowest low there is. This power to make you feel, to inspire you, to make you smile, to make you think; that’s why I write; that’s why I read; that’s why I misuse semicolons sometimes (go easy on me, I’m no English teacher).That’s why I think books are worth my time. Is there anything better than curling up with a book by candle light during a power outage on a rainy day and feeling something great just because of some ink on a page? No, there’s nothing better.

Most of our lives, we have been speaking these amazing things, writing them, thinking them. Walking around with a library’s worth of words floating around in our heads, running incessantly. We have language, a way to communicate everything. Is it possible to know every word in existence? I’d like to try, if I’m being honest with you. Not to flaunt a superior vocabulary on anyone, but just in an effort to make myself as well-spoken as I can be. In an attempt to know more and more of these extraordinary things that are used for all of these extraordinary purposes. Words.

Just the End (Not Really Though)

In my last post, I threw away every last bit of pride I had and begged for comments and wise words from the world of the internet. I got the most views I have ever gotten from one blog on that one, and this was really the only time that the numbers meant anything to me because I figured, the more numbers I get, the more likely it was that I’d get a comment. You would think after my incessant begging, someone would comment. Some shimmer of wisdom, a tiny glimmer of advice. Nope. Nada. Nothing. The equivalent of the internet flipping me the bird. Thanks internet, love you too.

So now I’m mad, not at the viewers, because that would be the very definition of counter-production. I’m just mad. Maybe I was freaking out much more than I really needed to. I mean, I’m still young, right? Right? I guess. I have accomplished nothing. You know what Micheal Jackson achieved by the time he was my age? A lot. There are Olympic gold medalists my age, and what have I done to give my name any significance in the history of the universe? Absolutely nothing. Except, well, write a blog and almost misuse the word ‘right’ a second ago. But even that means nothing to anyone, because no one really knows I’m behind this blog. No one really knows my name. I have done almost nothing. I’ll work on that later (I procrastinate a lot).

Even Olympians will die someday, though. Their names will only be remembered by the people who are after their titles and eventually their flames will die out. That sucks, doesn’t it? Knowing that no matter what you do, there will always be someone after you who is more memorable, and it will go like that on and on until the world ends. Even then, if you make a lasting name like George Washington, people will be so quick to point out your mistakes. You go from loving the father of this country one minute to listening to an audio book and having a totally different opinion.

Even further than that, if you make a name for yourself that lasts, and then you die and it comes out that you’ve never made any mistakes. You were freaking more pure than Virgin Mary, eventually this world will burn out. Then your name will really mean nothing. When all that’s left is the scorched remnants of what this planet once was and the rest of the universe, aliens may at one point exist that are as smart or smarter than we are. If they discover this planet, your name will mean nothing to them. Every last strand of what was once your life is gone, then, and no civilization will ever care again. That kind of makes you seem insignificant doesn’t it? When you look up at the stars at night and realize that somebody else out there may be looking back at you, revolving around their own star and all they see is our sun, if that.

Did you know that if an intelligent alien species is looking at earth through an extremely high powered telescope, then they are probably seeing dinosaurs because of the amount of time it takes the light to travel? Just something to think about. So, what are you doing with your life? Is it worth it? The only consolation I can think of when I think like this is, well, you. People, sitting at their computer, staring at the screen reading words that can change their minds. Words that can inspire people, make their life worth their time. Who cares if your name is remembered? Nobody, so don’t live your life for yourself, live your life for others. I may be sending mixed messages with this, but there is a bigger picture. Figure it out, it’s not that hard.

Meteor Shower

Did you see the meteor shower? I did. Looking up at the stars, waiting for small glimmering balls of fire to pass by in the amount of time it takes you to blink inspired me way more than I thought it would. For one thing, I think way more than I should. I imagine all of these things that COULD happen, but the chances are so small that they never really do. The fact that these things don’t happen, only inspires me to create the rest of this made up story. So I do, I’ve been writing stories lately.

Anyway, back to the shower. My house is at the dead-end of my street, so no cars come by. Especially at 2 in the morning. That meant my little brother and I laid out in the middle of the street, staring up at the sky waiting for one meteor that both of us saw. We both saw a good handful, but we only saw about two together. All of the others either he saw or I saw. Have you ever just sat outside in the middle of the night to look at the stars? When you can’t sleep or you get bored and have nothing to do. If you live in a place where you can see the stars, then I highly suggest it. Even if you aren’t much into nature.

I’m not much for nature, and I’ll admit it. All that hiking in the woods does for me is make me even more conscious of the fact that mosquitoes and wasps exist. I seriously don’t know what it is about me, but I can’t go outside in the summer without coming back with at least four bug bites. But when you’re out there, watching the stars and there are crickets chirping in the background, you can forget everything else in the world that is wrong. Looking up at the stars out there in the universe that are so far away you probably can’t even comprehend the distance between us and them, everything on earth seems so insignificant. All the petty fights going on, between your friends or family, they are totally pointless and mean nothing. There is so much out there.

Then I had the thought that somewhere out there, orbiting one of those small, flickering lights, could be a planet with intelligent life on it, like earth. There could be other civilizations looking up that the stars, just like us, contemplating the existence of alien life, whether or not there are other life sustaining planets orbiting the stars that they are seeing, looking at our sun through their atmospheres. What are the odds of that? Think of all of the life forms on earth. How many species on our planet spend any part of the night gazing up at the stars? I don’t know of any outside of homo sapiens. Granted, I am no biologist. I don’t know much about animal behaviors.

Maybe I’m just really interested in science, most people probably don’t find this as interesting as I do. What about you? Ever stay up until 2 in the morning to watch meteors burn up in our atmosphere? Do you ever just lay out at night looking at the stars? Are you as fascinated by the vastness of our universe as I am? Leave a comment and let me know.Thanks for reading!